heleanor | 【ＲＰ】ＯｐｅｎＰｏｓｔ

[Oikawa nearly drops his fork when Yamaguchi leans forward.]

Right. Okay, Yama-chan.

[He puts his spoon down and pointedly ignores it as he goes back to his milkshake. He's not as red as Yamaguchi but there's definitely a pink tinge over his cheeks.]

[Yamaguchi's still avoiding looking at him—or else he'd probably get even more flustered, at the sight of Oikawa blushing too. The other boy's been so sure of himself up to this point that it doesn't even occur to Yamaguchi that he could get embarrassed.

For the moment, Yamaguchi quietly eats his cake, trying to think of something to say to break the silence. Maybe it isn't necessary? It isn't with Tsukishima, but Oikawa is different in that seems to talk a lot more when he's happy. Yamaguchi hopes he hasn't done anything wrong to make Oikawa go quiet even for a little while.]

[Sometimes (rarely!) Oikawa is an idiot. Sometimes he says or does things he doesn't mean just to see what response his actions get and that lands him in trouble about five seconds down the line. Most of the time when he does that he has Iwaizumi to call him out and let him know that he's an idiot but Iwaizumi is still there to call him an idiot again next time. Borderline codependency has its benefits.

But he has to deal with Yamaguchi on his own and he really feels like he might have fucked up. That Yamaguchi might not want to be here any more. He glances at him as he quietly eat his cake.

Oikawa swallows.]

I'm sorry, Yama-chan.

[Yamaguchi jerks up, looking confused. The words grip him with anxiety. Is this a precursor to something? Is Oikawa telling him he actually thinks this was a bad idea, doesn't want to hang out?

Yamaguchi swallows nervously, stammering a bit when he speaks.]

Sorry—f-for what, Oikawa-san?

[Oikawa shrugs, unsure of exactly how to say "for making you eat off my spoon".]

For making you uncomfortable.

[He'd add "I won't do it again" but he doesn't actually like lying and up until just then it was fun to make Yamaguchi blush and stammer.]

Oikawa-san!?

You...um...you didn't!! I'm okay! [This is a blatant lie, but what's true is that Yamaguchi's way more uncomfortable seeing Oikawa act serious like this.]

[Oikawa raises an eyebrow, because there's no way even the most oblivious person could miss how completely uncomfortable Yamaguchi was.]

Yama-chan, I'm older than you. I have to take responsibility for these things.

[And he'd rather Yamaguchi was happy. He's cuter that way.]

Huh?? ['These things?']

I'd feel terrible if I made you cry.

[A statement about how much Oikawa thinks of himself as an asshole rather than about how much he thinks Yamaguchi cries.]

What? [Yamaguchi looks stunned. Not least because where is this coming from? They've been texting for a couple of weeks now, and in all that time Oikawa hasn't let up on his silly, difficult-to-distinguish-from-flirtatious teasing. And that's certainly embarrassing, and frankly it sometimes makes Yamaguchi uncomfortable in his own skin, but even that's not Oikawa's fault. Yamaguchi has no one to blame but himself for not being sure if he likes guys (and being too chicken to find out).]

Yeh...uhh...you wouldn't, Oikawa-san!!

I haven't cried, or anything like that! I'm sorry!

Yama-chan! I simply won't allow you to be sorry.

[He picks at the corner of his bread. Doesn't eat any but what can you do.]

People as cute as you shouldn't apologise. Take what the world owes you with a smile! [Which would be more convincing if he could make himself smile properly again.]

[There it is again--Oikawa calling him 'cute.' Yamaguchi wants to argue that some, but he hesitates.]

...Is something the matter, Oikawa-san?

You don't...seem like your usual self...

Of course I am, Yama-chan. [He says too quickly and does take an actual bite of his bread rather than continuing to turn it into crumbs.]

[Yamaguchi isn't sure he's convinced, but he also isn't confident enough to press the issue.]

I just thought...well, if you're sure...

I am sure. [And shit, that was very nearly a snap, wasn't it? He didn't mean that.]

Do you want some of my milkshake? [Because going back to that topic will absolutely help.]

[Yamaguchi involuntarily winces at Oikawa's tone—though he may not know Oikawa well, there's definitely a difference between his words just then and those of a person that's totally fine and not upset. In someone playful and teasing like Oikawa, the change is more stark than most.

Yamaguchi's anxiety doesn't settle at all. In fact, it's worse now for being totally devoid of any subconscious reaction toward flattery or gratitude, at the stuff Oikawa says, or a desire to hear more.]

I-It's fine, Oikawa-san. [Yamaguchi withdraws a little as he eats his shortcake, which isn't really natural for him, but he isn't sure how else to fix Oikawa's mood. Yamaguchi wishes he hadn't pressed the issue with him when he had the chance.]

[He shouldn't even be upset like he is. And he can admit to himself that he is upset. He's getting crabbier by the minute - if he wasn't eating already he'd force a chocolate bar down his throat to see if that helped.

The problem is knowing he's upset and stopping himself from showing it are two different things. A sign of how much he does like Yamaguchi in the first place is that he's getting upset and not making sweeping statements about Yamaguchi with just enough truth in them to hurt and push Yamaguchi away.]

Suit yourself, Yama-chan.

[He bites back on the urge to apologise again, tears off a piece from his bread and eats that instead.]

Have you been busy lately?

[Starting up conversation will help, surely. Even though he knows most of what Yamaguchi's been up to from his texts.]

[Yamaguchi must admit he's grateful for the opportunity for distraction, even if he's still worried the words will only be an annoyance to Oikawa. It's better than trying to pass the time in suffocating silence.]

...Yeah, I'm pretty busy! There's practice every day with the team, and then I spend extra time working on the jump float serve with Shimada-san...

It's different from junior high, you know? I'm not totally confident yet about balancing my time between homework and club activities. Especially in the future when I'm not a first-year. But...I'm glad I'm able to do both.

[...]

Oh! How 'bout you, Oikawa-san? [He wonders belatedly if he's talking too much—without Tsukishima there to tell him when to shut up, Yamaguchi can never be sure.]

[Junior high seems so long ago. Three years is a long time, really. He'd like to think that he's changed since then, but he knows if he has it probably wasn't much. He's acted the same ever since he can remember, ever since Iwaizumi can remember, too, from some of the stuff he says.

He stirs the straw in his milkshake around and shrugs.]

I'm busy, it's not easy being captain of a team like Aoba Johsai. But I suppose I'm used to it.

[Sometimes Oikawa messes up his timetable and winds up with an hour spare between studying and volleyball and he never has any idea what to do with the time - especially if he knows Iwaizumi isn't free and whichever girl confessed to him last realised they were going nowhere and already dumped him. That's actually how he came to bother Yamaguchi in the first place. He just didn't stop once he had things to do again.

He attempts a smile that comes off a little more genuine than his completely false ones before.]

Karasuno's lucky to a first year like you, some of ours are a handful, they don't realise just how important they're going to be next year.

That's...nice of you to say, but...

[But it isn't true. Yamaguchi may have earned his place as the team's pinch server, but with three of the four first-years on the starting team this year, and most of the upperclassmen having a great deal of distinguishing talent as well...]

[Oikawa sits back in his chair, sucks down more of his milkshake as he considers Yamaguchi.]

Yamaguchi, when did I ever give you the impression that I'm nice?

[He's not nice. Or he doesn't think he is. He might say nice things sometimes but it's not because he's nice. It's because they're true and someone needs to hear it. Or if they're not true they're close enough that it achieves the same goal.]

[Yamaguchi freezes in his seat. He manages, barely, to avoid hissing in a sharp breath of surprise that threatens to catch in his throat—there's been a subtle, perceptible shift in the air between him and Oikawa, like the older boy somehow sucked out all the warmth and cloying sweetness out of the room simply by dropping the "-chan" from Yamaguchi's last name. This is the Oikawa Tooru that defeated Karasuno with his team during the inter-high, leading them bravely every step of the way.

The same Oikawa who Yamaguchi had unconsciously pushed to the back of his mind over the past few weeks, after countless vexing and teasing text messages sent back and forth made him forget exactly how they came to know each other. Yamaguchi wouldn't let himself be intimidated so badly again, if he were met with this super-intense Oikawa on the volleyball court.

Here, though, it's the last thing Yamaguchi expected.]

Er...O-Oikawa-san? [Yamaguchi swallows, struggling and too nervous in the coming seconds to speak. He's not afraid of the change in attitude he sees in Oikawa, precisely; but Yamaguchi finds his skin is erupted in chills nonetheless simply at the look in the setter's eyes.]

...You, ah...said yourself on the phone, Oikawa-san. [A lot.] ...That you were a nice guy...

[And were going to prove it to him, no less.]

[He considers, plays with the straw of his milkshake without looking at it, still fixed on Yamaguchi instead.]

I suppose I did. You didn't believe me. [Because no sane person would. The only person who's ever thought (or more likely not thought at all) well of him like that was Kageyama persistently asking him to teach him to set and to serve. And Oikawa's long thought he's lacking in the sanity department.

When he mentioned it before, told Yamaguchi he'd prove how good a person he is, it was with the assumption that Yamaguchi knew that's impossible. That it's part of his jokes. Iwaizumi always laughs when he says things like that and he's his best friend.

It sits a little unhappily in his stomach that Yamaguchi might think he's better than he is and thinks that he'd say something for someone else's comfort alone rather than because he means it or because saying it will help in the long run. He's not sincere, necessarily, but he can tailor his words to people so that they should believe him enough.]

Well, no...at the time, I didn't.

[Yamaguchi's not sure whether he believes it now, but despite Oikawa's pushy or embarrassing requests at times, he's never been actively mean to Yamaguchi (that he's aware of).]

But you did say it, Oikawa-san.

[Oikawa sighs, they're getting off the reason he brought it up in the first place. And he doesn't particularly want Yamaguchi thinking too hard about that.]

Either way, Yama-chan. I wouldn't say Karasuno's lucky to have you to be nice.

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