heleanor | 【ＲＰ】ＯｐｅｎＰｏｓｔ

[Yamaguchi hasn't got the faintest idea why, but he can feel his vision going blurry as Oikawa speaks. The other boy has said variations of the same thing countless times by now, but Yamaguchi is still floored by how Oikawa…really seems as though he means it. Like he means it. They've known each other barely a week, and not even a particularly admirable week from Yamaguchi's end. How can Oikawa possibly say he likes him with a straight face? Enough to go on a date with him, even? What does he possibly think he'll get out of this that's worthwhile?

It all seems impossible to Yamaguchi. For Oikawa, perhaps, something as simple as being able to call this a date might not be a big deal, but Yamaguchi's never had anyone take positive notice of him in such a short amount of time before. He's always been lacking in respect and attention from other people, always been passed over for the spotlight time and again—or, more recently—had to fight for it. Somehow, Oikawa can apparently see him anyway. Like he's actually trying to.

Yamaguchi has to swallow once, then twice again before he speaks.]

Th-Then…i-it's… [Spit it out, Yamaguchi reminds himself desperately after making the choice, there's nothing else now but to say it–]

…A—A date!!

[Aaaand it comes out definitely a little higher and louder than it was supposed to, since the loud pounding in Yamaguchi's ears is drowning out everything else up to an including his own voice. Despite his answer in the affirmative, Yamaguchi still looks he's practically on the verge of a heart attack. What if it's a big mistake that he just made? What if he's only attracted to girls after all? What if people find out?

What if Oikawa changes his mind?]

[Oikawa sags in relief.

He's never doing that again.

Yamaguchi's response might have been ungraceful but it's a date. Yamaguchi agreed to a date with him. He might agree to more at some point. It's that thought that prompts a slow, happy smile to cross his face, he's never been excited at the thought of dating someone before.]

This is a fairly terrible first date, you know.

[They'll have better ones. He'll make sure of it.]

[Yamaguchi's halfway to an actual, attempted smile of his own, seeing Oikawa's posture finally relax like he's feeling pleased–]

[And then:

"This is a fairly terrible first date, you know."

Yamaguchi's stomach drops. His face falls immediately after those words…he messed up already…

Whatever cautious optimism had started to tentatively gather inside Yamaguchi mind is quickly snuffed out. This is his fault, he just knows it. How could he have ruined things so suddenly? No, it was probably already too late when he gave Oikawa his answer. Yamaguchi should have known he was being far too presumptuous, to assume the other was still interested after so many mishaps and deflections and…]

I'm sorry! I'm s-sorry… [Yamaguchi wouldn't have exactly expected himself to be a great date partner to begin with, of course; it's not something he can exactly work on to practice. But, to hear it said aloud so bluntly, and with no warning by someone as cool as Oikawa…]

I'm sure it's been awful for you…I-I'm really sorry, Oikawa-san…

[Wha- what. No! He didn't mean it like that.

Shit.

Why is this so hard? He could swear he did better when he wasn't trying to be nice to Yamaguchi. But then if he goes back to the way he was acting before Yamaguchi will probably think he's done something even worse and just... crawl into a hole to die.]

Not at all, Yama-chan. It's only fairly terrible. And I'd rather have even a terrible date with you than do something else.

I'll try harder! …Next time, I won't mess anything up or…I mean, if you give me another chance!! [Yamaguchi cuts off, still in panic mode internally for thinking he may have said the wrong thing. Is there going to BE a next time? Is he overestimating Oikawa's patience again? He can't just assume things, even if he's still totally unsure how he even feels about a second…date?…with Oikawa. He can't let it go badly, no matter what. Who knows what might happen if he did. 'Fairly terrible' isn't a good standard to set, but Oikawa's expression makes it seem like he can, forgive that, possibly? Maybe?? Does that mean Yamaguchi owes him a favor?]

[Briefly, frantically, he considers taking Yamaguchi's phone and asking Tsukishima for advice on what the hell to do when Yamaguchi isn't listening.]

Yama-chan. I would go on a hundred fairly terrible dates with you without complaint. [Is that going to get through? He's not counting on it. But what else can he even say?]

[Probably better that he didn't, depending on Tsukishima's mood. He might just take one look at the text and simply decide to murder Oikawa at some point in the future, while making it look like an accident for Yamaguchi.]

Buh? [Yamaguchi shuts up, finally, struggling to process this.]

You...would?? Even if it's terrible?

[Oikawa could take him, he's got Iwaizumi looking out for him. (That is, if he hadn't done anything recently to cause Iwaizumi to offer to hide the body instead.)]

Even if it's terrible, it's still with you. [He shrugs. He wants to add a compliment, or remind Yamaguchi that he said he likes him plenty of times now but... before, he knew Yamaguchi probably wouldn't believe him. Now the chance that he would seems higher.]

[Yamaguchi stares at Oikawa dumbfounded for a moment, something of key importance in those words finally appearing to sink in.]

Oikawa-san...y-you...really like me? [Enough to be worth the inconvenience? Enough to be more than an inconvenience? But, Yamaguchi...

...Yamaguchi didn't even have to do anything. It just happened.]

[He has hardly any bread left but be damned if he isn't going to distract himself with it to avoid doing more than shrugging in response to that.

He hates being sincere but when he does want to have another date - and the idea that they might not doesn't appeal at all - he can't put on a falsely cheerful and flirty act to cover how much he does mean what he's saying.]

[Of course Yamaguchi takes that impassive shrug, as an answer in the negative to his question.

Of course.]

Oh... [He's very clearly disappointed, the wide-eyed look going out of him to be replaced by something more familiar. He's not upset, not quite, since Oikawa still said he wanted to...to go on another date, so maybe he's feeling uncertain like Yamaguchi is? Yamaguchi can't blame him; after all, his own emotions are doing all sorts of uncalled-for things to him today.]

...I see.

[Oikawa glances up because that response didn't sound... And no. Yamaguchi thinks - what? That he doesn't like him? How? They keep going in circles. Oikawa mentally gives himself a slap. Because he's gotten too close already. He takes a breath, sets the tiny mouthful that is the rest of his bread down and takes a step back in his mind to assess the situation.

The first thing he notes is his own discomfort, nothing new but important. Because he got so caught up in it that he forgot to pay attention to Yamaguchi properly. Yamaguchi who is insecure, Oikawa knows that. Of course he wouldn't take the right message from anything other than explicit words.]

I like you a lot. But you're probably too nice for me, Yama-chan. [That has his usual grain of truth in it. Going on a date with someone he likes is almost too much, if Yamaguchi ever confirmed that he likes Oikawa back - and not just when he's teasing and playing like he's a nice person - Oikawa will be hard pressed not to turn him down and claim that he was pretending the whole time.]

['Insecure' is probably an understatement. Yamaguchi gives Oikawa a confused look when he's finished speaking, clearly uncertain of how to make sense of that statement.]

Too nice? I don't get it. [Sure, he probably seems nice compared to Tsukishima, but honestly who isn't?]

[Why that makes Oikawa's stomach flip flop he doesn't know.]

Nice people get tired of me quickly. [Or they realise one day that the glimpses of a not very nice person they get from Oikawa occasionally are who Oikawa actually is.]

Wha–? Tired of you!?

[Yamaguchi looks incredulous, like he simply can't believe that for one second. Oikawa's a cool person with a with a lot of fans and accomplishments, why does he think people will get bored of him like it's no big deal?]

Yes. Tired of me. [He's snapping, just a tiny bit. He spends so much time pretending that he's perfect that repeating something like that isn't exactly pleasant.]

[Yamaguchi startles just a bit at being snapped at, but this time he doesn't seem upset so much at Oikawa's tone than the words themselves.]

That's...totally strange to me, Oikawa-san. [He can't imagine anyone simply tiring of a person like Oikawa.] I mean, you're really cool.

[Not as cool as Tsukishima, but still very, undeniably cool.]

But...if they do, they're probably not that nice to begin with.

[Not as cool as Tsukishima? He doesn't collect dinosaur toys, that's at least ten cool points over Tsukishima right there!!]

It's not something you should worry about, Yama-chan. You don't mind spending time with me now and I don't plan to waste the time I have. [It's going to take more than that to convince Oikawa that nice people don't get tired of him. And when Yamaguchi does, he just has to back away and it will be like it never happened.]

[TSUKKI IS THE ABSOLUTE COOLEST OKAY–]

Don't make it sound like I'm just gonna get bored and stop hanging out with you!!

[He'd sick Iwaizumi on him, but he'd probably agree on the basis that anyone is cooler than Oikawa.]

Oh, and why shouldn't I? [Because that's what happens. He has one friend, Yamaguchi. There's a reason for that.]

[Yamaguchi nearly looks like he's going to back down, let it drop, but then he steels himself instead.]

B-Because I wouldn't! That's all...

Yama-chan. You wouldn't even have talked to me if I didn't pressure you into it.

[Which he feels a little bad about. But only a little.]

That's only because...I thought...you were trying to mess with me.

[And because he tried to start off the conversation by casually propositioning him, which Yamaguchi isn't going to mention now because he's still not certain whether or not that was fully intended as a joke.]

But, it's a different situation now, though, Oikawa-san! ...Right?

[Oikawa avoids eye contact. He likes Yamaguchi, and it's not like he'll be happy when Yamaguchi realises he's not a good person but he's not going to pretend it won't happen. Because he's completely convinced that it will.]

And who's to say the situation won't change again?

I'm letting you have an out, Yama-chan. The least you can do is remember I gave it to you when you change your mind.

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