heleanor | 【ＲＰ】ＯｐｅｎＰｏｓｔ

[Yamaguchi all but recoils from those words as though he'd been slapped instead, his tense posture loosening to a slump as he lets his hands fall in his lap with his eyes resting firmly on the plate in front of him. It won't be enough, to stop Oikawa from already seeing the momentary flash of hurt and bewilderment on Yamaguchi's face before he looked away.]

Yes! R-Right, sorry!

Sorry... [Maybe it'll be better if he just. Shuts up. If Yamaguchi stops talking then there won't be anything he says to upset Oikawa at all, right?]

[He can't even be pleased that Yamaguchi didn't deny this is a date when he's looking like that.

He likes Yamaguchi's chatter, it's funny and interesting and a lot like what Oikawa does to fill silences. And he doesn't like whatever the hell this is. But he can't think of what to say. He should have stuck to dating girls he doesn't like.

Oikawa gently pushes his milkshake across the halfway point of the table. ]

[Yamaguchi glances up, looking at the milkshake first in bemusement and then slowly over at Oikawa. He can't read the setter's expression at all, and now that he messed up once he's nervous to try. Is Oikawa asking him to drink that?]

...?

[They did say they would share. Oikawa's just entirely convinced Yamaguchi doesn't want to any more, so his milkshake will sit there, closer to Yamaguchi than Oikawa while Oikawa is entirely fascinated by his bread. Which is excellent and delicious and he likes a lot and is absolutely a better thing to be looking at than the cute boy sitting opposite him who is probably one step away from going home.]

[He's more than a little afraid to open his mouth at this point, but after a few more stubborn minutes of silence Yamaguchi feels he's going to burst if he doesn't ASK the question that's been burning on his mind.]

Is...that...for me?

[Things are going well! He hasn't opened his mouth to say something upsetting for a little while and his bread is almost entirely eate- he inhales a piece. Why does Yamaguchi have to catch him off guard by being blunt? A brief splutter to eject it from his lungs later, he manages an embarrassed smile.]

We did say we'd share, Yama-chan.

O-Oikawa-san!?

[Yamaguchi is horrified, nearly toppling his chair over in his haste to stand up so he can get to the other side of the table. He frantically tries to assess the setter's condition choking on his bread in an effort to help. Is Oikawa choking to death? Can he not breathe?? ...Okay, now he's breathing, but for how long!? Is he going to live...?]

Oikawa-san, do you need anything! Water...?!

[Stop caring about him Yamaguchi. It's adorable and makes Oikawa blush.

He thumps his chest, attempts a smile, mostly succeeds.]

I'm fine, Yama-chan. I wouldn't die on you and ruin our date more.

Are you sure you're all right!? [PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T DIE ON HIM. The last thing Yamaguchi needs is to come under suspicion for accidentally murdering Seijou's setter while they're out on a–

oops, he said it again and of course Yamaguchi feels the adrenaline cooling in his system just in time for the blood to rush back to his face. which (naturally) starts the embarrassing transition from sheet-white to pink, again.]

Y-You, um, really don't need to call it that...! [at least you're not dead, sob]

[God damn it. He'd thought - hell. At this point he has no idea what he thought. That Yamaguchi was just shy, that once he got used to Oikawa giving him attention he'd want Oikawa to take him on another one and then...

But he keeps reading him wrong. Which is just another point against Oikawa getting attached to people. He likes Yamaguchi too much to make him happy, apparently.]

I want it to be a date, Yamaguchi. But if you really don't want it to be, I can stop.

…!!

[For a minute, Yamaguchi simply stares at him, blushing and wide-eyed with disbelief. Self-awareness returns and he quickly looks away again, expression giving way to one that's torn and painfully insecure. It's really difficult to find the words to speak, because Yamaguchi's not sure what he wants his answer to be. He's scared of any outcome that could come from this, and doesn't miss (in his anxious thoughts) how Oikawa called him by his full name again like he's being serious.

…Is Oikawa being serious? Is he really?

…Does Yamaguchi want him to be?]

Um…I'm… [focus. think of it like the nerves before a volleyball match. crap. no. anything but that. something nonthreatening! maybe if he pretends like he's explaining it second to someone like Ennoshita, or Shimada– ] …I'm not really certain yet, if I want guys in the same way as I do girls. And I don't know what kind of motivation a person like you could have, to want to go on a date with me, Oikawa-san…it's not something I'd probably be very good at, either…

But… If you really feel that way…then I…w-well…!! [MAYBE, SORT OF, KIND OF, THINKS HE WOULD POSSIBLY WANT THAT AS WELL]

[Oikawa stares at him, incredulous.

Yamaguchi still thinks he might be joking? Oikawa talked to him over text for a week straight - constantly throwing in blatant flirting - invited him out for lunch, calling it a date the entire time, to a very pink cafe intended for couples, made Yamaguchi eat off his spoon and Yamaguchi still doubts that Oikawa could be serious about his intentions.

He probably brought that on himself, if he's honest.

Not seeing why Oikawa might be interested in him in the first place is harder to grasp. Oikawa gave him a list! It nearly killed Yamaguchi but that only goes to show he listened as Oikawa gave it.

But... That's a yes, right? Or one step away from it. Among Yamaguchi's stumbling to lower Oikawa's expectations and his self-depreciating comments, he's building up to a yes?

Apart from gambits to get Iwaizumi to admit he cares about Oikawa, he's never actually put himself in a position like this. And with Iwaizumi he already knew he cares. He can't says he likes the change, even serving on the court he's more relaxed than this.

His mouth twitches into what might be a sincere or hopeful smile but the emotion is foreign enough that he's sure it looks like his previous choking has taken a bigger toll.]

I really do feel this way, so...?

[He realises, awkwardly, Yamaguchi feeling the same is irrelevant to his desire to spend time with him. Even if Yamaguchi did say he didn't want it to be a date, that he really is one hundred percent straight, Oikawa would still flirt and try and take him out on not-dates, perfectly happy with the idea that Yamaguchi will never fall for him.]

[Yamaguchi hasn't got the faintest idea why, but he can feel his vision going blurry as Oikawa speaks. The other boy has said variations of the same thing countless times by now, but Yamaguchi is still floored by how Oikawa…really seems as though he means it. Like he means it. They've known each other barely a week, and not even a particularly admirable week from Yamaguchi's end. How can Oikawa possibly say he likes him with a straight face? Enough to go on a date with him, even? What does he possibly think he'll get out of this that's worthwhile?

It all seems impossible to Yamaguchi. For Oikawa, perhaps, something as simple as being able to call this a date might not be a big deal, but Yamaguchi's never had anyone take positive notice of him in such a short amount of time before. He's always been lacking in respect and attention from other people, always been passed over for the spotlight time and again—or, more recently—had to fight for it. Somehow, Oikawa can apparently see him anyway. Like he's actually trying to.

Yamaguchi has to swallow once, then twice again before he speaks.]

Th-Then…i-it's… [Spit it out, Yamaguchi reminds himself desperately after making the choice, there's nothing else now but to say it–]

…A—A date!!

[Aaaand it comes out definitely a little higher and louder than it was supposed to, since the loud pounding in Yamaguchi's ears is drowning out everything else up to an including his own voice. Despite his answer in the affirmative, Yamaguchi still looks he's practically on the verge of a heart attack. What if it's a big mistake that he just made? What if he's only attracted to girls after all? What if people find out?

What if Oikawa changes his mind?]

[Oikawa sags in relief.

He's never doing that again.

Yamaguchi's response might have been ungraceful but it's a date. Yamaguchi agreed to a date with him. He might agree to more at some point. It's that thought that prompts a slow, happy smile to cross his face, he's never been excited at the thought of dating someone before.]

This is a fairly terrible first date, you know.

[They'll have better ones. He'll make sure of it.]

[Yamaguchi's halfway to an actual, attempted smile of his own, seeing Oikawa's posture finally relax like he's feeling pleased–]

[And then:

"This is a fairly terrible first date, you know."

Yamaguchi's stomach drops. His face falls immediately after those words…he messed up already…

Whatever cautious optimism had started to tentatively gather inside Yamaguchi mind is quickly snuffed out. This is his fault, he just knows it. How could he have ruined things so suddenly? No, it was probably already too late when he gave Oikawa his answer. Yamaguchi should have known he was being far too presumptuous, to assume the other was still interested after so many mishaps and deflections and…]

I'm sorry! I'm s-sorry… [Yamaguchi wouldn't have exactly expected himself to be a great date partner to begin with, of course; it's not something he can exactly work on to practice. But, to hear it said aloud so bluntly, and with no warning by someone as cool as Oikawa…]

I'm sure it's been awful for you…I-I'm really sorry, Oikawa-san…

[Wha- what. No! He didn't mean it like that.

Shit.

Why is this so hard? He could swear he did better when he wasn't trying to be nice to Yamaguchi. But then if he goes back to the way he was acting before Yamaguchi will probably think he's done something even worse and just... crawl into a hole to die.]

Not at all, Yama-chan. It's only fairly terrible. And I'd rather have even a terrible date with you than do something else.

I'll try harder! …Next time, I won't mess anything up or…I mean, if you give me another chance!! [Yamaguchi cuts off, still in panic mode internally for thinking he may have said the wrong thing. Is there going to BE a next time? Is he overestimating Oikawa's patience again? He can't just assume things, even if he's still totally unsure how he even feels about a second…date?…with Oikawa. He can't let it go badly, no matter what. Who knows what might happen if he did. 'Fairly terrible' isn't a good standard to set, but Oikawa's expression makes it seem like he can, forgive that, possibly? Maybe?? Does that mean Yamaguchi owes him a favor?]

[Briefly, frantically, he considers taking Yamaguchi's phone and asking Tsukishima for advice on what the hell to do when Yamaguchi isn't listening.]

Yama-chan. I would go on a hundred fairly terrible dates with you without complaint. [Is that going to get through? He's not counting on it. But what else can he even say?]

[Probably better that he didn't, depending on Tsukishima's mood. He might just take one look at the text and simply decide to murder Oikawa at some point in the future, while making it look like an accident for Yamaguchi.]

Buh? [Yamaguchi shuts up, finally, struggling to process this.]

You...would?? Even if it's terrible?

[Oikawa could take him, he's got Iwaizumi looking out for him. (That is, if he hadn't done anything recently to cause Iwaizumi to offer to hide the body instead.)]

Even if it's terrible, it's still with you. [He shrugs. He wants to add a compliment, or remind Yamaguchi that he said he likes him plenty of times now but... before, he knew Yamaguchi probably wouldn't believe him. Now the chance that he would seems higher.]

[Yamaguchi stares at Oikawa dumbfounded for a moment, something of key importance in those words finally appearing to sink in.]

Oikawa-san...y-you...really like me? [Enough to be worth the inconvenience? Enough to be more than an inconvenience? But, Yamaguchi...

...Yamaguchi didn't even have to do anything. It just happened.]

[He has hardly any bread left but be damned if he isn't going to distract himself with it to avoid doing more than shrugging in response to that.

He hates being sincere but when he does want to have another date - and the idea that they might not doesn't appeal at all - he can't put on a falsely cheerful and flirty act to cover how much he does mean what he's saying.]

[Of course Yamaguchi takes that impassive shrug, as an answer in the negative to his question.

Of course.]

Oh... [He's very clearly disappointed, the wide-eyed look going out of him to be replaced by something more familiar. He's not upset, not quite, since Oikawa still said he wanted to...to go on another date, so maybe he's feeling uncertain like Yamaguchi is? Yamaguchi can't blame him; after all, his own emotions are doing all sorts of uncalled-for things to him today.]

...I see.

[Oikawa glances up because that response didn't sound... And no. Yamaguchi thinks - what? That he doesn't like him? How? They keep going in circles. Oikawa mentally gives himself a slap. Because he's gotten too close already. He takes a breath, sets the tiny mouthful that is the rest of his bread down and takes a step back in his mind to assess the situation.

The first thing he notes is his own discomfort, nothing new but important. Because he got so caught up in it that he forgot to pay attention to Yamaguchi properly. Yamaguchi who is insecure, Oikawa knows that. Of course he wouldn't take the right message from anything other than explicit words.]

I like you a lot. But you're probably too nice for me, Yama-chan. [That has his usual grain of truth in it. Going on a date with someone he likes is almost too much, if Yamaguchi ever confirmed that he likes Oikawa back - and not just when he's teasing and playing like he's a nice person - Oikawa will be hard pressed not to turn him down and claim that he was pretending the whole time.]

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kid read this, is upset and has told me to "fix this", debating on whether to listen to her.

;A; OH NO now i am filled with guilt

nooo, don't be. she makes me cry every time we exchange headcanons, this is good payback

how did this schmoopy date thread even reach these levels of sad I DON'T KNOW

I know! It's oikawa's fault. :)

coos at oikawa forever i can't be upset

he is quite lucky he's cute

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