heleanor | 【ＲＰ】ＯｐｅｎＰｏｓｔ

[ So Red's come down from the hunk of rock he'd made his disappearance on, finally putting worried mothers out of their misery and Green with, well, a bit more company than usual if the occasional visits of the other boy to his gym were any indication. Not that Green asked for it. It was odd at first, seeing the guy around more after years of not, but there was always something amusing to brush that away. Like Red's face. (Heh.)

It's lunch time - or Green's decided it is - after Red's ended up at his gym like a lost puppy again while trying to lose the scent of certain individuals, and whatever, who cares about reasons, Green wants to eat so those gym trainers can keep doing what they like, he's heading to the break room for food.

There's a kitchen area shoved in the corner, lined with cupboards above and a fridge included. Tables and chairs occupy the same space, and then a more comfortable looking sofa sits at the other end of the room with a bookcase. How cosy. Green doesn't look back to Red when he leads him in, going straight over to the fridge to peer inside without a word. Was it here, was it here...

Make yourself at home if you want, Red. ]

Wow, you have like, a whole kitchen in here! This place is amazing, Green! Do you sleep here? [Compared to the freezing, desolate peaks of Mt. Silver and his own disastrously messy house, a moderately equipped gym seems like the lap of luxury.]

[ Oh, look, the funny thing spoke. ]

Why would I do a thing like that for? If I'm that tired I'll just close up and go home.

[ There's a cracking-like sound, and then Green takes a step back from the fridge with a plastic container in his hands, the lid off. ]

Want some? [ He tilts it some, just so Red can see the contents. ] It's pasta.

Huh? But there's a couch and– [Red's immediately distracted, drawn in inescapably by the delicious-looking pasta, because food food food] –Wait, really? I can have that? Awesome, Green, thanks!

[And that's all the warning you're going to get before Red plucks the container right out of your hands, and starts eating the pasta with his fingers. ~~No one ever taught him proper table manners, whoops; admittedly Daisy tried once before giving up~~]

[ Red gets one handful of the pasta because Green snatches the tub away from him, a look between horror and disgust on his face. ]

The heck, Red! You're not a pokémon! [ GggrrrOOSSSS. He nods his head over to the table, sharp. ]

Sit down!

[ That is an order. ]

Hey! [Red scowls, pouting. He's hungry...]

What's sitting down have to do with being a pokémon?

Just- shut up and sit down. [ No, making faces will not get you the food, Red. This food? Green's taking it over to the microwave. ]

Actually, wash your hands first. And then sit down.

Fine... [grumble grumble

...

...]

You will give it back if I do, right?

[ you know what buddy just go back on mt. silver thanks ]

You want me to kick you out or are you going to do what I tell you already?

I don't even live here! [nonetheless, he begrudgingly goes to think sink to wash his hands, dripping water everywhere as he doesn't even attempt to dry them off.]

[ Cry him a river. The microwave doesn't need babysitting, but apparently Red does, and he doesn't get the chance to sit down when Green's already over there pulling off the dish towel from the hook and taking his hands. ]

I swear, you're doing this on purpose.

Doing what? Hey, what're you–? [he tries to pull his hands back out of instinct, startled more than actually wanting Green to let go]

[ He's still got one, and that one is still going to get the drying technique. Please observe. ]

You wash your hands. Then you dry them. Welcome to something everyone and their pokémon knows.

[ And when he's done with that hand - it's just a wipe, and be glad he didn't go for being rough! - Green holds out the towel for Red to take. ]

Your turn, cave man.

You actually dry your hands? [Really Green? Really? Who cares?

Still, once Green outright tells him to do it, Red'll take the dish towel and dry his hands without further complaint. Then, he holds the towel back out again to return it.]

Thanks.

[ The most important person cares. Green cares.

He makes a dismissive sound and throws the towel onto the kitchen counter over his shoulder, and then heads to the kettle to turn it on to grab himself a drink. He definitely wasn't going to eat his lunch tainted by Red's gross hand anymore (thanks, loser), so he might as well have one thing Red can't ruin for him as easily.

(And if he does, Green really will kick him out the gym and he can find his own way to a hospital for the burns.)

There's no hovering to wait for the water, when the microwave goes off suddenly with a beep, and now he has to get that out -- ouch, better hold it at the corners -- and quickly onto the side.

And don't you try hovering near him or anything, Red. Ugh, he could've had it all... everything in the world... ]

[Well, pleased to be dismissed, Red's first order of business is to zoom straight over to the microwave alongside Green. That's where the pasta is! Red reaches out to grab it from the counter, not bothering to cover his hands to protect them from the heat. Because he's Red.]

A-Ah! Ow... [Wincing at the burn, he'll adjust his hold without dropping the dish. Red walks it over to the table, setting the pasta down and sitting in a chair himself as Green requested. Before starting to eat, Red will pause to cast a glance back toward the counter.]

...Something the matter, Green? [The pasta. He's. He's eating it with his hands again...]

[ And then an electrode rolls in, self-destructs and takes out them and the entire gym. And everybody lived happily ever after.

...Except no, that doesn't happen. But Green's sure has reached a new temperature and what is wrong, what Red will think is wrong anyway, is when Green slides the pasta away from Red's reach. ]

Take a guess. [ Hear this deadpan voice, Red? This is your fault. ]

[Red's eyes follow the dish as it moves away, belatedly following the hand connected to it back to Green a moment later. There's a moment of obvious incomprehension, and then Red frowns up at Green, looking bemused and perhaps a little hurt.]

Um, I...did I do something wrong, Green?

[ Don't even think he cares about those puppy eyes just because he took away your One True Love, pal. He's seen it all before. ]

Does a guy really forget how to eat just because he stuck himself on a rock for who-knows-how-long? You don't stick your hands in hot food, moron. I've got forks. You know, forks? Remember what a fork is? How about a spoon?

Wait, here? You have those? [...]

...Oh! You want me to eat with them? With like a fork and stuff? Or, uh... [look man if red didn't have table manners BEFORE your grandfather set him loose in the wilds of kanto at age 11, he sure as hell doesn't have 'em now]

[ No that's ridiculous Red, you're ridiculous. ]

There's a reason forks exist. And yes, I've got some -- you'd know if you didn't keep snatching my food outta my hands the second you see it.

[ Speaking of the pasta, he's picking it up off the table when he turns away from it to retrieve one of those mystical instruments from a drawer. He is so not turning around and seeing Red devouring it like he hadn't heard a word Green just said. ]

But you offered! [Red turns around in his chair but doesn't follow, watching Green as he walks across the kitchen floor.] I thought you only used those at restaurants...

[ He scoffs loudly. What are all these ridiculous words coming out of Red's mouth? ]

Is this what they call brain damage? [ Alright, here's the food back on the table. You might've hear the sound of running water somewhere in there too, since hey, also included is a plastic cup of water. You're welcome.

There's a fork in Green's hand still, which he stabs down into the pasta. ]

See what I did? [ of course you did you loser ] Now you try it.

I'm not brain damaged!

[Looking a bit sore over the insult, Red takes the fork from Green and uses it to clumsily spear some pasta on the end. He holds it up for Green, scowl fading.] That better?

Now aim it at your mouth and go ahhhhh.

[ HEH HEH. ]

red & green ( "red's existence is my suffering" )

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