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[isthebest]

[ Cry him a river. The microwave doesn't need babysitting, but apparently Red does, and he doesn't get the chance to sit down when Green's already over there pulling off the dish towel from the hook and taking his hands. ]

I swear, you're doing this on purpose.

[leaguechallenge]

Doing what? Hey, what're you–? [he tries to pull his hands back out of instinct, startled more than actually wanting Green to let go]

[isthebest]

[ He's still got one, and that one is still going to get the drying technique. Please observe. ]

You wash your hands. Then you dry them. Welcome to something everyone and their pokémon knows.

[ And when he's done with that hand - it's just a wipe, and be glad he didn't go for being rough! - Green holds out the towel for Red to take. ]

Your turn, cave man.

[leaguechallenge]

You actually dry your hands? [Really Green? Really? Who cares?

Still, once Green outright tells him to do it, Red'll take the dish towel and dry his hands without further complaint. Then, he holds the towel back out again to return it.]

Thanks.

[isthebest]

[ The most important person cares. Green cares.

He makes a dismissive sound and throws the towel onto the kitchen counter over his shoulder, and then heads to the kettle to turn it on to grab himself a drink. He definitely wasn't going to eat his lunch tainted by Red's gross hand anymore (thanks, loser), so he might as well have one thing Red can't ruin for him as easily.

(And if he does, Green really will kick him out the gym and he can find his own way to a hospital for the burns.)

There's no hovering to wait for the water, when the microwave goes off suddenly with a beep, and now he has to get that out -- ouch, better hold it at the corners -- and quickly onto the side.

And don't you try hovering near him or anything, Red. Ugh, he could've had it all... everything in the world... ]

[leaguechallenge]

[Well, pleased to be dismissed, Red's first order of business is to zoom straight over to the microwave alongside Green. That's where the pasta is! Red reaches out to grab it from the counter, not bothering to cover his hands to protect them from the heat. Because he's Red.]

A-Ah! Ow... [Wincing at the burn, he'll adjust his hold without dropping the dish. Red walks it over to the table, setting the pasta down and sitting in a chair himself as Green requested. Before starting to eat, Red will pause to cast a glance back toward the counter.]

...Something the matter, Green? [The pasta. He's. He's eating it with his hands again...]

[isthebest]

[ And then an electrode rolls in, self-destructs and takes out them and the entire gym. And everybody lived happily ever after.

...Except no, that doesn't happen. But Green's sure has reached a new temperature and what is wrong, what Red will think is wrong anyway, is when Green slides the pasta away from Red's reach. ]

Take a guess. [ Hear this deadpan voice, Red? This is your fault. ]

[leaguechallenge]

[Red's eyes follow the dish as it moves away, belatedly following the hand connected to it back to Green a moment later. There's a moment of obvious incomprehension, and then Red frowns up at Green, looking bemused and perhaps a little hurt.]

Um, I...did I do something wrong, Green?

[isthebest]

[ Don't even think he cares about those puppy eyes just because he took away your One True Love, pal. He's seen it all before. ]

Does a guy really forget how to eat just because he stuck himself on a rock for who-knows-how-long? You don't stick your hands in hot food, moron. I've got forks. You know, forks? Remember what a fork is? How about a spoon?

[leaguechallenge]

Wait, here? You have those? [...]

...Oh! You want me to eat with them? With like a fork and stuff? Or, uh... [look man if red didn't have table manners BEFORE your grandfather set him loose in the wilds of kanto at age 11, he sure as hell doesn't have 'em now]

[isthebest]

[ No that's ridiculous Red, you're ridiculous. ]

There's a reason forks exist. And yes, I've got some -- you'd know if you didn't keep snatching my food outta my hands the second you see it.

[ Speaking of the pasta, he's picking it up off the table when he turns away from it to retrieve one of those mystical instruments from a drawer. He is so not turning around and seeing Red devouring it like he hadn't heard a word Green just said. ]

[leaguechallenge]

But you offered! [Red turns around in his chair but doesn't follow, watching Green as he walks across the kitchen floor.] I thought you only used those at restaurants...

[isthebest]

[ He scoffs loudly. What are all these ridiculous words coming out of Red's mouth? ]

Is this what they call brain damage? [ Alright, here's the food back on the table. You might've hear the sound of running water somewhere in there too, since hey, also included is a plastic cup of water. You're welcome.

There's a fork in Green's hand still, which he stabs down into the pasta. ]

See what I did? [ of course you did you loser ] Now you try it.

[leaguechallenge]

I'm not brain damaged!

[Looking a bit sore over the insult, Red takes the fork from Green and uses it to clumsily spear some pasta on the end. He holds it up for Green, scowl fading.] That better?

[isthebest]

Now aim it at your mouth and go ahhhhh.

[ HEH HEH. ]

[leaguechallenge]

Ahhhhh. [Red...actually does, though he looks annoyed and impatient to eat.]

[isthebest]

And then in goes the food! [ He will treat you like the baby you deserve to be treated as, Red. Sigh, but what a waste of food. ]

[leaguechallenge]

[Red inserts the fork in his mouth, chews (barely), and swallows, then looks back at Green.]

...Can I eat the rest now?

[isthebest]

Yeah, sure, 'slong as you stop sticking your hands in it. That's gross. [ Like, seriously dude. ]

[leaguechallenge]

[Red tilts his head at him curiously.]

...Did you use a fork to eat when you were traveling, Green?

[isthebest]

Uh, yeah? Didn't you ever see foldable fork, knives and spoons on sale? [ Do you like Green looking at you like you're a total weirdo, Red? Because it's not going away. ]

[leaguechallenge]

No. [He spent all his money on Carbos, sorry.]

[isthebest]

Didn't your mom pack you anything? [ Did he just throw out everything he deemed unnecessary. ]

[leaguechallenge]

...No.

[He didn't want to bother her about it...]

[isthebest]

[ Better not roll his eyes, they might fall out. At least he has a drink for comfort. ]

So you're telling me you never thought about buying that stuff.